Victory Has A New Name

Good morning boys and girls, we have orders...

The allies are losing the war due to an overabundance of Diamond Girls, Dinosaur Men, gold-plated tanks and Kill Men of the Rising Sun.

We need a team to handle all of this, find out where our missing monuments are, investigate a brothel in Switzerland and, as always, kill Hitler.

We need DANGER 5.

If you've never watched Danger 5, everything in this blog post is going make absolutely zero sense.

If you have watched Danger 5, you'll know what I'm talking about, but it still makes zero sense.

Danger 5 is an absurd Australian TV show that features a crack team of allied agents in World War 2, but the aesthetics are of a low budget sixties spy show.

It combines this with a frankly surreal set of storylines, bizarre characters and a metric ton of visual gags. It is quite possibly the silliest thing I've ever seen.

And it's brilliant.

I've had the miniature set from Crooked Dice for a long time, but have never got round to painting them. I'm really not sure why it's taken this long.

Let's meet the team...

Tucker is the mild-mannered, straight-laced and frankly upright 'leader' of the team. He enjoys a sensible chuckle, suffers nosebleeds in the presence of freeform jazz and is deeply smitten with Claire (but too repressed to do anything about it).

Claire is the cool, calm and collected blond bombshell whose virginal charm makes her an object of desire for pretty much everyone, especially the Führer. She clearly has a brain as well as beauty, something which deeply upsets her commanding officer.

Jackson is a hard-drinking, hard-hitting all-American hero. He's prone to flying into a rage about everything from losing a staring contest to threats to Lady Liberty herself. He is most insensed by his complicated feelings for teammate Ilsa.

Pierre is a smooth Frenchman with a past and he usually knows someone in every location the team is sent to. He is an artistic soul with a ear for cool beats and is always ready to hear a dying friend regain him with a perfect cocktail recipe.

Ilsa is a sultry and volatile Russian agent who enjoys driving men wild, especially Jackson, even though she's married to Rommel. Ilsa has very little time for Claire's unwillingness to sleep with Nazis to complete a mission.

In addition to the main team, the set also includes their commanding officer, Colonel Chestbridge. It's never explained why he has a eagle's head, as he doesn't take kindly to being questioned, especially by Claire.

Obviously, every mission always includes the objective to kill Hitler, and so the Führer is included in the set too. As the mastermind behind every fiendish plot, killing him is the hey to winning the war. Unfortunately, his uncanny ability to dive through a window to escape regularly goild the team.

Finally, we have Blondi, Hitler's Dog...or is it? Could it actually be a robotic agent sent to seduce German Shepards on guard?

Yes. The dog is smoking.

Getting these painted has prompted my to watch the first series again, and it's still just as ridiculous. For me, Danger 5 perfectly captures what happens in 7TV when two players haven't agreed what casts they are bringing.

It's bonkers.

Acquired: -116

Painted: 493

Lead Mountain: 226

Extinct Species

As get towards the bowels of my backlog (that sounds wrong), I'm coming across long forgotten project from defunct miniature lines.

A good example is Sabertooth, from the all too brief run of Marvel miniatures from Knight Models.

Why do I have him? He was a late addition to my unofficial Marvel project. Most of the miniatures I used were priced from different ranges. But I'd never found a suitable Sabertooth and he became available.

Why didn't I paint him at the time? He's a bit big really. The Knight Models range are tall next to the 28mm miniatures I used, and Sabertooth is a big boy for that range.

Why did I choose to paint him now? Honestly, because he was there. When I was fishing out random 7TV stuff to paint, he was already assembled, and so he got back in the queue.

I actually really like the miniature, the Knight Models range were always good, I was just disappointed at how huge he was. There's lots of nice details, but as always with Knight Models metals, there are a few chewed up bits at the joins.

Painting was easy. Nazdreg Yellow, Garaghak's Sewer and Skeleton Horde contrast paints were used to put down a base coat and then I washed the brown before highlighting the yellow and bone.

I'm really happy with how the fur round his neck has come out and I wish I could get things as good when highlighting musculature. It's not a massive problem if this model turns out a bit cartoony, but I'd like to be able to have not-cartoony as an option.

It's been a while since I painted any traditional superheroes and it's a nice reminder of how simple their colour schemes are. They are really good for getting done in a single session.

This was the last unpainted Knight Models Marvel miniature I own and with them long out of print, I might need to do a bit of digging if I want to get him a few friends in the same scale. I'm not sure I'd want to pay through the nose for them though.

Acquired: -119

Painted: 485

Lead Mountain: 231

Creature Feature

Having really enjoyed our first game from the Night Terrors feature pack for 7TV, my attention naturally turned to episode two.

Without giving too many spoilers away as to the plot, the second episode features a range of creepy crawlies of varying sizes, including fly swarms and maggots, something that I do not have in my collection.

Until now...

I spent a little bit of time online looking a STLs for 3d printing, and although there are some good options out there, I'm loath to send money when I'm not sure that a file will work with my printer.

I did find some options, but before handing over money I had a think about other options such as buying cheap toy flies and maggots, using green stuff and so on.

And then inspiration hit me...

I remembered that I still had a load of Cybermats from the Warlord Games Cyberman sprues I put together years ago.

I've never used them because I'm not that much of a Doctor Who fan to need loads, I already have a metal Cybermat which looks very different and I'd half though about using them as proxy scarabs in a Necron army for 40k.

However, I realised that I could easily use the Cybermat as maggots with a different paint job, and, spotting that some didn't have bases, I figured I could try to turn them into swarms.

A gentle bit of drilling and the insertion of a metal rod allowed me to get three 'flies to a base' (three is a swarm, right?). I've gone with smaller bases as it serves the double purpose of not requiring too many flies whilst also meeting the profile card rules that use a 3" template which assumes a smaller base.

Black contrast paint, gloss varnish, red eyes and ivory 'teeth' was the limit of my painting here, and then I used small sections of plastic bag (the bit at the bottom with a crease already put in) and glued them to the flies backs.

To my mind, these are quick and cheap options for something that I'm actually likely to use just once.

The maggots took even less work. A coat of Gulliman Flesh contrast paint, dryprushed with a cream paint (I used Wraith one) and then putting the contrast paint back over the mouth parts and they were done with a coat of gloss varnish to make them slimy.

I went with two per base to make them more visible, a factor that cause me to change course in terms of basing. I was intending to use a more scrubland basing material, but the pink maggots would have totally disappeared into it.

Another factor I need to consider is that the scenario needs quite a lot of unarmed teenagers. I'm not actually sure if I have enough, and I don't want to use my Walking Dead miniatures again as they don't mix well within casts due to basing and bulkyness.

Therefore I went looking for miniatures I could use, and found this temporal traveller's assistant from Crooked Dice, which fit the bill. As I don't own the correct Doctor to accompany Jo Grant (I don't even know which one it is), I seen no problem using her as a generic ternager. I've based the colour scheme on Shannon Doherty's character, Heather, from Heathers, which I felt would give her an eighties vibe.

I've also had this chap part painted for a long time, as he came with one of my original casts for 7TV. The rest of the cast were British police officers and I felt that he didn't quite fit with my Juliet Bravo theme, despite clearly being a reference to The Sweeney.

I'm not sure if he'll get used in Night Terrors, but I can see him popping up in future storylines.

I'm pleased with my problem solving on this one. Obviously there are better models out there, but these will serve more than adequately for the next scenario, haven't cost me anything and have used up some bits I had no real plan for.

Acquired: 119

Painted: 484

Lead Mountain: 232*

*I can't remember if I counted the Cybermat as individual models when I first tallied the Lead Mountain, but I'm assuming I did. I'm planning on doing a recount over Christmas anyway as I'm pretty sure that after several years my numbers are wrong.

Night Terrors #1: Night of the Comet

It's just gone Halloween, Matt's free for a game and I've just painted a road sign for Pilgrim's Bluff.

That sounds like a perfect excuse to play the first episode of the 7TV feature pack Night Terrors, a 1980s TV horror show blending sources like Stranger Things, IT and classic 1950s B-movie horrors.

The story opens with the Pilgrim's Bluff Amateur Astronomers Club along with the local High School Science Club gathering at Herschel Gomer's (a Vietnam War veteran) campsite to watch a meteor shower.

Several meteors hit the ground in the campsite leaving strage extra-terrestrial objects in smoking craters.

As the would-be ufologists begin to carefully explore these finds, they realize that they are not alone. Not only have agents from a secret government organisation arrived to secure the scene, but strange stapes, straight out of movie induced nightmares are moving through the woods.

Professor Silver declares that the truth is out there, and must not be hidden from the public. The astronomers and high school kids must grab the evidence and escape into town.

The home-town heroes are:

Herschel 'Bigfoot' Gomer (star) - Vietnam veteran and campsite owner.

Professor Gabriel the (co-stars) - high school science teacher.

Teddy Tucker (extra) - new kid in school and some of the local sheriff (that's a BB gun he's holding).

Pilgrim's Bluff Amateur Astronomers Club (extras) - four stargazing local ufologists.

The High School Science Club (extras) - three teens out for extra credit.

The villains of the piece are the agents of Operation Blacklight:

Special Agent Vera Ward (star) - a by-the-book government agent.

Dr Silas Everett (co-stars) - a fragile genius and xenobiology expert.

Blacklight Field Agents (extras) - three men who aren't required to wear black.

Xenobiologists (extras) - two scientists of dubious morality.

Sniffer Dog Team (extras) - a dog handler and his two mystery solving hounds.

Finally, lurking in the woods are the Night Terrors summoned by the alien tech from the psyche of those nearby: a killer robot, an alien invader and a zombie.

The action takes place in Herschel's camping ground. The Amateur Astronomers gathered here as it provides accessible high ground away from the lights of Pilgrim's Bluff. An excellent spot to observe a meteor shower from. The heroic cast begins near the hill.

Operation Blacklight had tracked the meteor shower an turn up in 4x4s shortly after the impacts. The villainous cast stars by the road and Herschel's cabin.

The five small craters contain alien artefacts pulsing with strange energies.

Annnnnd.... ACTION!

A series of meteors strike the ground throughout the campsite. As the smoke clears, we see headlights of vehicles pulling up by the side of the roads, disgorging ominous looking agents.

Up on the hill, the Amateur Astronomers look down upon the smoking craters that dot the area.

Professor Silver says, "we must gather some evidence, the truth is finally out there."

Herschel is more concerned about the intruders he can see pulling up to his cabin.

The dog team are the first to locate an alien artefacts, but without warning, a robo appears out of nowhere and sends the handler sprawling whilst his digs yap and yammer.

Curiously, the robot's design is eerily similar to to an Operation Blacklight project that the handler saw sketches of earlier that day.

The Astronomers decide to split up to search the campsite. One of the high schoolers, Nick, finds something first, but is also shocked to be set upon by a bloated zombie.

This is ironic as Nick had silent the night before indulging in a zombie movie marathon.

Teddy also stumbles up on an artefact, but is shocked to come face to face with a sinister looking group of agents.

The leader, Special Agent Ward, demands that he back away from the artefact, "it's dangerous, kid."

Teddy, who knows his mom needs to know about this, ignores her and darts off with the fragment.

"Ach! I need zat for ze research!" Dr Everett shouts after him.

Having somehow evaded the zombie, Nick makes it to the road and safety.

(It's a bit unclear what happened here, and the actor playing Nick later claimed that he'd filmed some exciting action sequences with the zombie  which script editors brutally cut out of the show).

Meanwhile, one of the Blacklight scientists who the story hadn't focused on, suddenly finds herself set up on by the zombie and killed.

Aware that they are in danger on multiple fronts, the Amateur Astronomers start rushing towards the road.

Although they don't try to shoot the civilians, the Operation Blacklight agents don't seem to have a problem with setting dogs on them or tasering children.

Meanwhile, a furious Herschel tussels with the Blacklight agents.

"Get off my property!"

After briefly setting them on fire and being targeted with tranquilising drugs, he eventually clubs one of the unconscious and makes a break for it, using his experience from 'Nam to slip unseen into the undergrowth.

The robot joins the fray, baffling Dr Everett as he is confronted by his own invention, which is only in the design stage.

Professor Silver has a lightbulb moment and upholds his duty of care to distract the Blacklight team, allowing several of the kids to slip away.

None of this was on the risk assessment for the trip.

In a crucial high point of tension, Teddy finds himself cornered, and certain to be captured and carted off to a secret facility.

However, Teddy proves particularly adept at evading his would be captors, wearing some of the thickest plot armour imaginable.

Meanwhile, Blacklight agents close in on Sarah, treasurer of the Pilgrim's Bluff Amateur Astronomers Club, until a distorted being which resembles an invasive alien fungus they had discovered on a downed satellite only a month ago.

Mind you, that fungus was tiny...and didn't have eyes!

In the chaos, Sarah manages to slip away unscathed.

As the rest of the Astronomers near the road, Dr Everett unleashes an unstable device he's been working on, sending them sprawling.

However, this isn't enough and the kids make it to the highway and Doctor Everett doesn't risk being witnessed chasing children in the dark by passing traffic, not with the levels of gun ownership in the area.

Herschel and Professor Silver ate the last to leave, despite the agents closing in.

Herschel always knew the government were out to get him and their arrival at his campsite alongside all manner of horrors only confirms his paranoia.

Professor Silver is more concerned about what fell from the sky and what had caused the weird creatures to appear. Would he ever get answers?

As the Amateur Astronomers make their escape, Operation Blacklight locates what seems to be the cause of the strange occurrences: a live and very frightened extra-terrestrial.

Special Agent Ward oversees the securing of the specimen, whilst Dr Everett looks on with anticipation at the opportunities for experimentation that are now open to him and his team.

The creatures terror grows and it's psychic waves of fear pulse out into the night, causing who knows what terrors to emerge.

Roll credits.

***

That was loads of fun. I've not played the latest edition of 7TV until now (mainly due to working through feature packs focused on the old edition) and I really like some of the small changes that have been made to the rules (cameos, prop stores, etc.).

In addition, the some if rules for the feature pack and this scenario also added to the fun, particularly the fact that the agents couldn't shoot the civilians, meaning that this became a much more balanced game than it first appeared, encouraging up to use more special effects than we would usually. Also, the cameo monsters were enough to be annoying, without overpowering the game.

Technically this was a 7-3 victory to the heroes. It was actually 8-2, but wededucted a point from the heroes and gave it to the villains. I'd been cheating with one of the kids who kept being knocked overwhukst carrying an objective. He should only make one move action, but I'd been standing him up and moving meaning he wouldn't have escaped.

The villains were really unlucky with their strike rolls as the heroes were rolling very high to defend and Professor Silver's ability to mess with the script deck proved crucial.

I'm looking forward to the next episode, but I will need to sort out some giant flies and maggots because...reasons...

"ADVENTURE!"

I knew printing and painting Castle Grayskull would wake something in me. First it was finishing off my last two models for the collection: She-Ra on Swiftwind and Skeleton on Panthor.

Now I'm digging through my backlog for miniatures that could reasonably be used as obscure secondary characters from 40 year old cartoons.

This, I present: Sea Hawk.

Yes, that's his name.

Sea Hawk appeared in only half a dozen episodes in the original series of She-Ra: Princess of Power, and is a pirate who works for the Horde but defects to join the Great Rebellion and becomes somewhat of a love interest for Adora.

He was armed with a 'laser rapier' and jater a 'photon cutlass' which are definitely not rip-lightsabers.

In the Netflix reboot, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Sea Hawk was introduced as an absolutely ridiculous parody of the swashbuckling anti-hero in the original.

A dashing and egotistical idiot, who loves nothing more than setting off on adventure (hence his catchphrase, "ADVENTURE!"), singing sea shanties and setting his own boats on fire.

As you can probably see, my version leans into the original version of the character, although this isn't because I prefer it. The Netflix version is a genuinely funny (in an absurd way) addition to the show.

The reason I've gone for a more classic interpretation is that the model I had available has more in common visually with the eighties version. It even has a headband.

The original miniature is a WizKids D&D miniature which I've had for a while, and, unlike a lot of the range, actually scales up pretty well with 28/32mm miniatures. I actually have a second copy of the model (the 'benefit' of blind boxes) that I'm looking to add to another project.

I painted it up really quickly, mainly using contrast paints and washes. Although the blue stripes are in the wrong places, I put them in to evoke the original and break up the wall of brown (the original costume design is a bit hideous).

I'm happy enough with him, but I'd definitely switch him out if a better model became available or I found a suitable proxy for the Netflix version.

Acquired: -119

Painted: 477

Lead Mountain: 246

Perp Walk

As I'm meandering through the backlog, there's a constant internal debate about how I can best use models. This means considering elements such as equipment, aesthetics, scale and need.

In the case of these three models, everything pointed to them joining the gangs on the mean streets of Mega City One.

Obviously, they are armed with none specific guns, which immediately points to something futuristic, with the heightened eighties vibe suggesting the heyday of 2000AD.

Meanwhile, thier slightly taller scale (without being too chunky) works okay with the Warlord Games models, and finally, already having Judge Dredd join the two Judges that came in the starter box meant that the gang members are currently woefully outgunned and reinforcements would be necessary.

These three models are all from the Grenadier Miniatures Future Wars range that I had a habit of picking up with my pocket money as a youth.

I see this extremely stylish lady as potentially being the queen bee of the street gang, a bit like Ma-Ma in the Dredd movie, but played by Grace Jones.

I've owned this model for 30+ years and only realised today that she didn't have sleeves.

This next guy screams anime bodyguard, with the over the top hair and sharp suits.

I kept things simple with the suit as I was going for something like the look of the Crazy 88 in Kill Bill.

I opted to go with blonde hair to offer some colour contrast, and lean into to the vibrant colours of anime.

This feeling was added to by the the symbol in his back that is sculpted on. I've no idea if this actually means anything, but I went with red and white to again evoke something Japanese.

The final gang member looks like he's played by Bruce Campbell, a very squared jawed fellow.

As such I went for a colour palette that suggested redneck hunter.

He also has a symbol on his back, but his had no design sculpted on it. I went for the number seven, partly because background characters in Judge Dredd often have details that make no real sense, but mainly because it was an easy number to freehand.

With Warlord Games ending the production of Judge Dredd: I Am The Law, I don't think this project will every go very far. However, at least I've ebened the odds and increased the chance that I'll be able to use all of my judges at once.

Acquired: -119

Painted: 476

Lead Mountain: 246